Ietls writing - Day 10
- Tạo bởi Thạch Sinh
- Start date
-
- Thẻ mô tả
- english
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Thạch Sinh
Hạt giống tầm thần
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Thạch Sinh
Hạt giống tầm thần
Ok mày. Tối tao viết task 2.
Task 1 tao viết nè mày @horus#1
The chart shows the number of international visitors of five areas from 1990 to 2005.
Overall, the number of international visitors had the tendency to increase over the period. Europe was often the most visited area while Africa and Middle East took the least proportion of total tourists share.
In 1990, Europe attracted over 280 million visitors from all over the globe. The area was among the best choices of people due to its old architectural buildings, as well as well-preserved natural landscape. America was the second popular area with 80.5 million tourists and followed by Asia and the pacific with about 60.2 million. Africa and Middle East shared the least amount of international visitors, with only 18.2 and 9.8 million respectively.
In the next 15 years, while Europe still maintained its position, Asia and the pacific quickly took over the second most attractive area and reached 135.8 million tourists in 2005. America, in the other hand, did not show any improvement in tourist attractions. This probably due to the fact that Asia and the pacific had the advantage over America as most of the countries in this area were still considered as third world countries, so the tourism cost was much more affordable for global travellers. Additionally, in America, especially the US and Canada, most of its budget was saved for researching and developing advanced technology, so financial spending for tourism attraction was likely to be cut off.
Lù Trọng Thắng
Cái lồn nhăn nheo
How are they hanging?
horus
Khổ vì lồn
The chart (this is a table, not a chart) shows the number of international visitors of five areas from 1990 to 2005.
Overall, the number of international visitors had the tendency to increase over the period. Europe was often (I am not sure about the often here) the most visited area while Africa and Middle East took the least proportion of total tourists share.
(Very good overall, you have described the overall trend and made 02 comparisons. Good in complex sentence)
In 1990, Europe attracted over 280 million visitors from all over the globe. The area was among the best choices of people due to its old architectural buildings, as well as well-preserved natural landscape (Do not try to be a smart ass here, this information is irrelevant to the given table). America was the second popular area with 80.5 million tourists and followed by Asia and the pacific with about 60.2 million. Africa and Middle East shared the least amount of international visitors, with only 18.2 and 9.8 million respectively. (To improve this paragrapth, you should add one or two comparitions here, for example: The international tourists of the American was higher than that of Asia and the Pacific, 80.5 million compared to 60.2 million respectively.
In the next 15 years, while Europe still maintained its position, Asia and the Pacific quickly took over the second most attractive area and reached 135.8 million tourists in 2005. America, in the other hand, did not show any improvement in tourist attractions (good notice). This probably due to the fact that Asia and the pacific had the advantage over America as most of the countries in this area were still considered as third world countries, so the tourism cost was much more affordable for global travellers. (Do not make assumtions, the task does not ask you about it !!!!) Additionally, in America, especially the US and Canada, most of its budget was saved for researching and developing advanced technology, so financial spending for tourism attraction was likely
to be cut off. (Same here!!!). Can add the data of Africa which is the number of tourists increased significantly, nearly doubled in 2005 compared to 1995
Tao vẫn chưa phải chuyên gia nhưng tao đoán mày đang ở band 5.5-6.0. Bài này mày có overall tốt nên có thể lấy được band 6.0. Trong 2 đoạn 1 và hai mày cần thêm các yếu tố so sánh và sử dụng thêm câu phức để tăng điểm. Mày thêm quá nhiều yếu tố thừa thãi mà task nó không hỏi trong cả hai đoạn văn. Thêm vào thế tao đảm bảo mày bị giáng xuống 5.0 hoặc 5.5 vì ảnh hưởng đến task archivement
Tip của tao là mày tìm criteria của IELTS task 1 mà đọc kỹ vào, câu phức và các cấu trúc so sánh cực kỳ quan trọng để lấy band 6.5
Mong các cao nhân khác góp ý thêm
horus
Khổ vì lồn
thêm nữa là tao đếm bài mày viết tận 234 từ, quá dài so với 20 phút và sẽ ảnh hưởng đến task 2. Viết ngắn thôi tầm 170 từ là đẹp
Thạch Sinh
Hạt giống tầm thần
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Anhhoa1810
Chúa tể đa cấp
Hay
ductoan2910
Địt xong chạy
M dùng AI mà viết. Xịn ngay
Whereverimayroam29
Tâm hồn dẩm chúa
Let kick out whose still using Vietnamese in this topic. If you don't come here for English, just leave, let us alone
hoangtubongdem352
Xamer mới lớn
ghe
Khoảng Khắc Niềm Vui
Thôi vậy thì bỏ
Let's kick out who still using Vietnamese on this topic. If you didn't come here for English, just leave, (and / please) let us alone
Thạch Sinh
Hạt giống tầm thần
Yeah. This topic is for those who seeking for a change in their xammer life. English is the very first step in our journey. My hat off to Khoảnh Khắc Niềm Vui.
Don't and didn't both can be used in this case, but don't is more precise as it is a warning.
Khoảng Khắc Niềm Vui
Thôi vậy thì bỏ
frily3
Thôi vậy thì bỏ
I think you were wrong, this table is about the people went travel by region, not the number of people who visited each region.
so you missed the whole point of this table, all the following is just bs.
Thạch Sinh
Hạt giống tầm thần
Sự trở lại của Lee tony
Địt Bùng Đạo Tổ
Hay,đỉnh cao của việc học là học để làm thầy mà ...
Nhưng nó đéo dạy tôi bạn ạ. Láo quá.
Thạch Sinh
Hạt giống tầm thần
The table shows the total number of international visitors in five areas from 1990 to 2005.
Overall, the number of international visitors had the tendency to increase over the period. Europe was the most visited area while Africa and Middle East took the least proportion of total tourists share.
In 1990, Europe attracted over 280 million visitors from all over the globe. America was the second popular area with 80.5 million tourists and followed by Asia and the pacific with about 60.2 million. Africa and Middle East shared the least amount of international visitors, with only 18.2 and 9.8 million respectively. It is noticeable that Europe had more tourists than the other four combined.
In the next 15 years, while Europe still maintained its position. America, in the other hand, did not show any improvement in tourist attraction. The region only observed an increase in the 1995 with 112.5 million, then it slightly fluctuated around this mile stone for the next 10 years. As a result, Asia and the Pacific quickly became the second most attractive area due to its amazing increasing pace. In this period, this area had attracted more than double total travellers, to 135.8 million. Middle East and Africa did show minor improvement, reached 15.8 million and 28.7 million tourist attraction respectively.
@horus tao viết lại rùi nè mày
Overall, the number of international visitors had the tendency to increase over the period. Europe was the most visited area while Africa and Middle East took the least proportion of total tourists share.
In 1990, Europe attracted over 280 million visitors from all over the globe. America was the second popular area with 80.5 million tourists and followed by Asia and the pacific with about 60.2 million. Africa and Middle East shared the least amount of international visitors, with only 18.2 and 9.8 million respectively. It is noticeable that Europe had more tourists than the other four combined.
In the next 15 years, while Europe still maintained its position. America, in the other hand, did not show any improvement in tourist attraction. The region only observed an increase in the 1995 with 112.5 million, then it slightly fluctuated around this mile stone for the next 10 years. As a result, Asia and the Pacific quickly became the second most attractive area due to its amazing increasing pace. In this period, this area had attracted more than double total travellers, to 135.8 million. Middle East and Africa did show minor improvement, reached 15.8 million and 28.7 million tourist attraction respectively.
@horus tao viết lại rùi nè mày
